“Brideless Groom” (1947) – Moe, Larry, Shemp
Synopsis of Brideless Groom
To inherit a fortune, voice teacher Shemp must marry before six o’clock, but no girl will accept his proposal. Finally one of his repulsive students agrees to marry him, just in the nick of time. When the rest of the prospective brides hear about the inheritance, they show up at the ceremony and a free for all ensues. Shemp marries before the deadline, but wishes he was still a free man. “Hold hands, you lovebirds.”
Review of Brideless Groom
In short, Brideless Groom is one of the funniest of the Shemp era Three Stooges short films — and the short that made Emil Sita famous for the line, “Hold hands, you lovebirds.” Brideless Groom begins with Shemp working as a voice teacher, and Larry as his assistant playing piano, teaching Miss Dinkelmeyer (Dee Green) – a woman as homely as she is tone deaf.
After her session finally ends, Moe enters to let Shemp know that his uncle Caleb has died, and left him $500,000 dollars — a vast fortune in 1947. There is, however, one catch — Shemp must be married within 48 hours of the will’s reading, or he will collect nothing. The homely Shemp begins calling all of the numbers in his little black book (a funny phone booth scene here) and proposing to various women — with no luck.
Shemp even tries proposing to a total stranger (Christine McIntyre) — resulting in a very funny scene where she bounces him about, finally knocking him through a door. Shemp unintentionally proposes to Miss Dinkelmeyer, who gleefully accepts. and the “happy” couple head to the Justice of the Peace, with Moe and Larry as witnesses. However …
A newspaper has gotten hold of the story, and the various women that Shemp has proposed to are trying to chase him down before he can marry anyone else. In the meantime, Moe, Larry, Shemp and Miss Dinkelmeyer have arrived at the Justice of the Peace (Emil Sitka) — where Shemp promptly loses the ring in the Justice’s piano, and destroys the piano while trying to retrieve it. Finally, they’re ready to proceed, when … the other girls arrive!
The short film promptly turns into a slapstick fight, with the women assaulting each other, Moe, Larry, Emil Sitka, and anyone else in sight — but Miss Dinkelmeyer manages (after several attempts) to finally have Emil Sitka perform the wedding ceremony — with Shemp aghast as the prospect!
Brideless Groom is a personal favorite, and highly recommend it. I rate it 4 clowns out of 5.
Funny Quotes from Brideless Groom (1947)
Shemp: That’s enough for today, you might hurt your voice. Ya know, bend it or crack it or break it or something.
Shemp: [Giving instructions to Miss Dinklemeyer] Gargle with old razor blades.
Miss Dinkelmeyer, voice student: All right, professor. I know you wouldn’t want anything to happen to my throat. [exits]
Shemp: [to Larry] Except to have somebody cut it.
Larry: How’d you like to be married to a dame like that?
Shemp: Don’t even say that!
Shemp: [Moe enters and opens the door in Shemps face]
Shemp: [to Moe] I oughta…
Moe: [to Shemp] You oughta what?
Shemp: I oughta be a little more careful.
Moe: Shut up and listen. Do you remember your Uncle Caleb?
Shemp: Do I? Why, that old tightwad! He’d steal flies from a flying spider!
Moe: But, Shemp, he’s…
Shemp: He’s a louse and a weasel!
Moe: Yeah? Well, he just died and left you $500,000 bucks.
Shemp: Just like that old skin flint! [gasps] Shemp: $500,000? [begins to cry] Poor old Uncle Caleb! Like I was sayin’, he was a swell guy, giving me the shirt off his back and throwing the buttons too.
Shemp: [on the phone in phone booth] Hello, is this Ginger Grey? It is? This is your little snookums. Listen, I’m about to do ya a big favor, will ya marry me? [click]
Larry: [to a woman in the hallway] Say, Miss, would you like to get married?
Woman in Hallway: [surprised] What?
Larry: Get married?
Woman in Hallway: Well, I don’t know, but you are kid of cute at that.
Larry: [blushing] Oh, it’s not me, it’s him.
[points to Shemp, whose face is pressed up to the window of the phone booth. He makes an ugly face and has the phone cord in his mouth. The woman screams, then slaps Larry across the face, and walks off]
Miss Hopkins (Christine McIntyre): [to Shemp] How dare you pretend to be my cousin Basil? I’ll teach you a thing or two. You Wolf! Don’t you dare strike me. Taking advantage of a poor defenseless woman.
Justice of the Peace (Emil Sitka): My new piano!
Larry: [shoving the Justice of the Peace out of the way] Shut up!
Justice of the Peace (Emil Sitka): Join hands, you lovebirds!
Larry: [after the phone booth’s walls fall and Moe and Shemp fall out of it]
Larry: What happened?
Moe: That’s what I want to know.
Moe: Wait a minute. You wouldn’t hit a lady with that.
[grabs an object and hands it to Larry]
Moe: Use this. It’s bigger.