Uncivil War Birds, starring the Three Stooges (Moe, Larry, Curly) originally released March 29, 1946
Uncivil War Birds is set during the onset of the United States’ Civil War. The Three Stooges (Moe, Larry, Curly) are living in an (unspecified) state that’s on the border between the North and the South, and after pledging their love to their girlfriends (Mary Belle, Lulu Belle, and Ringa Belle) they rush off to join the Army. Unfortunately, Moe and Larry have signed up with the North, and Curly with the South! This is actually a ‘fortuitous circumstance’, as the property keeps being seized by first the North, then the South, and goes back and forth – with each time the Stooges switching sides, and watching over Curly (or Larry and Moe, depending) in the guardhouse.
Eventually, the Three Stooges decide to all join the Southern Army, and try to steal a map from the Northern command (currently in control of the house). After a brief moment of Moe, Larry and Curly in blackface (which will doubtless offend some people), and after Curly having to pretend to be dead (in a very funny scene with Joe Palma, who later stood in for Shemp after Shemp’s death), the Three Stooges get away with the map, return to their southern home, and marry their sweethearts.
Civil War Birds is available on the DVD collection The Three Stooges Collection volume 5.
Funny movie quotes from Uncivil War Birds
Moe (Moe Howard): Please, Mary Belle, if y’all marry me this once, I’ll never ask you all again!
Moe (Moe Howard): Sorry, girls you’ll have to wait for the wedding ’til after the war.
Mary Belle: How long will it take you-all to win the war?
Moe (Moe Howard): I reckon a week. It takes time to win a war.
Mary Belle: For sure?
Lulu Belle: For such a man as you-all, I’d wait ’til the cows come home.
Larry (Larry Fine): But we haven’t got a cow!
Lulu Belle: Then we-all will get a cow.
Larry (Larry Fine): Right!
Ringa Belle: I know you’ll be at least a colonel.
Curly (Curly Howard): I’ll be more than a colonel – I’ll be a corporal. Good-bye!
Union Lieutenant: Forward march, you fools! [Curly remains] What’s the matter with you?
Curly (Curly Howard): I’m no fool!
Union Lieutenant: Forward march, you idiot!
Curly (Curly Howard): [marching] That’s different.
Confederate Officer: Who are these men?
Curly (Curly Howard): These are my bro– my prisoners, sir. I surrounded them!
Larry (Larry Fine): [the Three Stooges are in Confederate uniforms] Wait a minute! We all are union men!
Union soldier: You belong to the wrong union!
Moe (Moe Howard): Brother, you all ejaculated a mouthful.
Union soldier (Joe Palma): Hey corpse, will you tell my dumb friend here if you’re dead or not?
Curly (Curly Howard): I’m as dead as a doornail.
Cast of characters
- Curly Howard … Curly
- Larry Fine … Larry
- Moe Howard … Moe
- Eleanor Counts … Ringa Belle
- Lew Davis (Playing the Ponies) … Soldier with ants
- Maury Dexter … Southern Gentleman
- Marilyn Johnson … Lulu Belle
- Johnny Kascier (Grips, Grunts and Groans) … Union Soldier
- Theodore Lorch (If a Body Meets a Body) … Union Colonel
- Joe Palma (Three Little Pirates) … Union Soldier
- Al Rosen (Cheers TV series) … Union Soldier
- Cy Schindell (Three Little Pirates) … Union Soldier
- Victor Travis (Oily to Bed, Oily to Rise) … Justice of the Peace
- John Tyrrell (Gents Without Cents) … Union Sergeant (uncredited)
- Evelyn Venable (Fright Night) … Beverly (uncredited)
- Blackie Whiteford (Phony Express) … Union Soldier
- Faye Williams … Mary Belle
- Robert B. Williams (The Bat) … Union Lieutenant