Scotched in Scotland (1954), starring the Three Stooges (Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Shemp Howard), with Christine McIntyre
In Scotched in Scotland, the Three Stooges (Moe, Larry, and Shemp) are inept detectives, graduating with the lowest honors ever from their detective school. After the standard Three Stooges chaos (done very well, incidentally) the Stooges are sent to Glenheather Castle in Scotland, to investigate the theft of antiques. This leads to the bulk of the film, where the Stooges investigate the ‘haunted’ castle – it turns out that it’s the staff of the castle (including Three Stooges regular, Christine McIntyre, as “Lorna Doone”) who have been robbing their employer blind.
The movie turns into a ‘haunted house’ movie, as the crooked staff tries to scare them away. Scotched in Scotland is probably the best example of this type of Three Stooges short film, fast-paced and very funny. Christine McIntyre actually has a more ‘clownish’ role than normal – reaching into a safe only to get her hand caught in a mouse trap, accidentally being poked in the rear by a knife-wielding thief, etc. Other classic Three Stooges ‘haunted house’ bits include the ‘parrot in a skull’ routine (which is brief enough to be funny without becoming tedious), the bed that appears and disappears, etc.
In short, Scotched in Scotland is one of my favorite Shemp-era Three Stooges short films, and I recommend it – I rate it a solid 4 clowns out of 5.
Scotched in Scotland is available on DVD as part of The Three Stooges DVD collection, volume 7.
Funny movie quotes from Scotched in Scotland
Dean Gonga (Philip Van Zandt): I’ve decided to give you boys your diplomas in private, ’cause you graduated with the lowest honors in our school’s history!
Moe, Larry & Shemp: Gee thanks Dean Gonga, you’re a swell guy!!
Title: Glenheather Castle on the Bonny Banks of Scotland — but ’tis late and the Bonny Banks are closed
At Glenheather Castle
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Look at the size of this shack!
McLarry (Larry Fine): Train leaving on track 4 — all aboard!
McShemp (Shemp Howard): [in a kilt] Hey, Moe, is my slip showing?
McMoe (Moe Howard): Meet McLarry, McShemp, and I’m McMoe.
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Hiya, Mac!
The Earl (Herbert Evans): Lads, my secretary!
Lorna Doone (Christine McIntyre): Nice to know ye, laddies.
McMoe (Moe Howard): A charming bit of thistledown if I do say so myself.
McLarry (Larry Fine): And what might your name be, lass?
Lorna Doone (Christine McIntyre):: Perhaps you’ve heard it — ’tis Lorna Doone.
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Hi Lorna, how ya Doone?
The Earl (Herbert Evans): Ye must be a bit weary after your long journey.
McMoe (Moe Howard): Aye.
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Aye!
McLarry (Larry Fine): Aye-yi-yi!
The Earl (Herbert Evans): And what part of Scotland are you from?
McMoe (Moe Howard): He’s from the southern part of Scotland, below the McMason-McDixon line.
The Earl departs
[after The Earl has given the Stooges a smell of the cork from his bottle of whiskey]
McShemp (Shemp Howard): When he said a sniff, he wasn’t kidding!
The Earl (Herbert Evans): [offering the cork] Have another?
McShemp (Shemp Howard): No thanks, I’m driving.
The Earl (Herbert Evans): I want you to guard my valuables tonight, for I’m off to a gathering of the clan.
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Oh, a clan bake, eh?
McShemp (Shemp Howard): I feel kinda edgy myself; I ought to take something for my nerves.
McMoe (Moe Howard): Like what?
McShemp (Shemp Howard): A trip home.
McPherson (Theodore Lorch): The taxi awaits, Milord.
The Earl (Herbert Evans): One moment, I must have instructions for these lads.
McPherson (Theodore Lorch): Beg pardon, Sir, but it’s tuppence a minute for waiting time!
[Earl looks up in shock, leaps out of the chair and races out of castle, knocking down Angus on the way]
McShemp (Shemp Howard): [to Lorna Doone, caught red-handed] So that’s what ya been Doone, Lorna.
- A remake of The Hot Scots
- Oddly, Theodore Lorch had died seven years prior to the short being filmed. He was replaced in the newer footage by another actor who was either shot from behind or who wore the same disguise Lorch did. A process later known as “Shemping”, after Shemp Howard passed away.
Cast of characters
- Shemp Howard … McShemp
- Larry Fine Larry Fine … McLarry
- Moe Howard … McMoe
- Philip Van Zandt (Squareheads of the Round Table) … Dean O.U. Gonga
- Christine McIntyre (The Three Troubledoers) … Lorna Doone
- Charles Knight (Who Done It?) … Angus (archive footage)