No Census, No Feeling (1940) starring the Three Stooges – Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard
No Census, No Feeling begins with a storekeeper opening the awning over his storeâresulting in the sleeping Three Stooges falling out of the awning where they were sleeping, and after a moment of slapstick fighting over whose fault it was, Curly throws a pot, breaking dishes, and resulting in the Stooges running away from the storekeeper and a pursuing police officer. They run into a building for cover, and come out as agents for the census bureau, setting up the remainder of the short film where they try to gather answers for the census from private citizensâfor the princely pay of 4 cents a head!
The Stooges soon separate, with a series of vignettes as they each unsuccessfully try to gather information for the Census in a series of funny moments, resulting with all three reunited at at a mansion, where Moe and Larry are talked into standing in for missing bridge players for the hostess. Curly, meanwhile, is making punch in the kitchenâwhile trying to make time with the French maidâand âsweetensâ the punch by adding Alum to it, thinking that itâs powdered sugar. This leads to a very funny scene, as the different party members (including Three Stooges regular Vernon Dent) try to drink the punch, not hurt the hostessâ feelings, and keep talking with the puckering effect of the alum.
Soon the Three Stooges are sneaking into a large football game, trying to get the football playersâ information for the censusâa very funny segment, as the football players try to ignore them while the Stooges try to take the informationâleading to Larryâs âgeniusâ idea of getting the football, since they the players would have to talk to them! This results in the final scene of the film, with Curly running with the football, with Moe and Larry close behind pulling an ice cream vendorâs cart, throwing ice cream at the pursuing football team and officials.
No Census, No Feeling is a very funny Three Stooges short film, and is highly recommended, and is available on DVD as part of The Three Stooges Collection: volume 3. A colorized version is available on DVD as part of The Three Stooges – Stooged & Confoosed (Colorized / Black & White)
Editorial review of No Census, No Feeling – Three Stooges short film, courtesy of Amazon.com
The stooges get jobs as census takers and wind up in a fancy mansion looking for people to survey. Moe and Larry are recruited to join a bridge game, while Curly adds Alum to the lemonade. The resulting concoction is consumed by everyone, resulting in puckered lips and shrunken clothes. The boys next try to take the census at a football stadium. They disguise themselves as players and wind up in the middle of the game. Curly runs off with the ball and all the other players in pursuit.
Funny movie quotes from No Census, No Feeling starring the Three Stooges
Moe (Moe Howard): Good morning, sir, Iâm the census taker. Are you married or happy?
Henryâs wife: Hen-ry!
Moe (Moe Howard): [Henry ducks just a vase is thrown by his wife, hitting Moe and knocking him down the stairs] Married.
Moe (Moe Howard): Now, calm yourself. Weâre census takers, madam. How old are you?
Larry (Larry Fine): What address is this?
Lady having bridge party: One hundred and two.
Moe (Moe Howard): You donât look a day over eighty.
Lady having bridge party: Young man, Iâm twenty-nine.
Moe (Moe Howard): Oh, yeah?
Lady having bridge party: Well, how do I look?
Moe (Moe Howard): Oh, you look like a million.
Larry (Larry Fine): Ah, she canât be that old. [Larry and Moe open her mouth and check her teeth.] Forty-three.
Moe (Moe Howard): Fifty.
Larry (Larry Fine): Forty-three!
Moe (Moe Howard): Fifty!
Larry (Larry Fine)Larry (Larry Fine): Forty-three!
Moe (Moe Howard): Fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, [mouth begins to move much faster] fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fiftyâ¦
Curly (Curly Howard): Sooold American!
Curly (Curly Howard): Roses are red, and how do you do? Drink four of these and woo, woo, woo, woo!
Larry (Larry Fine): [after all three are unable to find anyone else to interview] Where is everybody?
Curly (Curly Howard): Maybe itâs The Fourth of July.
Moe (Moe Howard): The Fourth of July in October?
Curly (Curly Howard): You never can tellâ¦ look what they did to Thanksgiving!
Curly (Curly Howard): Iâm gettinâ sick and tired of this! How old are you?
Football player: Ninteen!
Curly (Curly Howard): Now weâre gettinâ somewhere!
Football player: Eighty-three! Twenty-seven! Twenty-two!
Curly (Curly Howard): Why donât you make up your mind?
Moe (Moe Howard): Pardon us, madame, weâre census takers. Whatâs your name?
Larry (Larry Fine): And your address?
Curly (Curly Howard): Whatâs more important, whatâs your phone number? Nyuk, nyukâ¦
[Woman hits them with her purse]
Moe (Moe Howard): Boy, look at that. There must be a hundred thousand people in there. Weâll make a fortune!
Curly (Curly Howard): Woo-woo!
Moe (Moe Howard): How much is four cents times a hundred thousand?
Curly (Curly Howard): [With shock] Nyahhhâ¦
[gives in, stands up straight and begins to type in the air with typewriter sound effects. Sweeps his head with the sound of the typewriter bar being pushed back. Finally pulls a strip of paper from his mouth. Reads paper]
Curly (Curly Howard): A dollar and a half.
Moe (Moe Howard): A dollar and a half?
Curly (Curly Howard): Thatâs without the tax!
Moe (Moe Howard): Where were you born?
Curly (Curly Howard): Lake Winnipesaukee.
Moe (Moe Howard): How do you spell that?
Curly (Curly Howard): W-Oâ¦ woof! Make it Lake Erie I got an Uncle there!
Moe (Moe Howard): What was your family decomposed of?
Curly (Curly Howard): Well, Iâll tell ya! There was a litter of three, and I was the one they kept! Nâyuk nâyuk nâyuk!
Moe (Moe Howard): [not realizing he is getting replies from Larry] Pardon me sir, but Iâm taking census, where were you born?
Larry (Larry Fine): Lake Winnipesaukee.
Moe (Moe Howard): Lake Winnip-how many in the family?
Larry (Larry Fine): I was one of a litter of three.
Moe (Moe Howard): Now donât tell me youâre the one they kept!
Larry (Larry Fine): Nah, I was the one they threw away!
Trivia for No Census, No Feeling
- The âlitter of threeâ joke was more or less an âin-jokeâ dealing with the fact that Larry was the only one of the main three (Moe, Larry, Curly) who was not a Howard/Horowitz. Curly says he was one of the ones âkeptâ (being a Howard), while Larry says he was the one âthey threw awayâ (not being a Howard).
- Near the beginning when Moe explains to the boys that theyâre working for the Census, Curly asks, âWill Hays?â This is an inside Hollywood joke as Curly must have thought Moe said âcensorsâ who enforced the Hays Code, started by the first president of the Motion Picture Association of America, William Harrison Hays.
- Just before the boys go to the football game, they hear a commotion in the distance. Curly says, âMaybe itâs the Fourth of July!â Moe says, âThe Fourth of July in October?â Curly replies, âYou never can tell. Look what they did to Thanksgiving.â This reference is lost on most people today. Before 1939, Thanksgiving was not a fixed date, but relied on a Presidential Thanksgiving Proclamation each year. Lincoln began the national holiday in 1863 and most people were used to Thanksgiving being the last Thursday of November. In 1939 (the year before this short was released), President Roosevelt changed the date of the national holiday, much to the disagreement of many of the statesâ governors and their citizens. This change added an extra week of holiday shopping, which pleased the leaders of big business. The move was quite controversial and it wasnât until the end of 1941 that Congress passed a law to settle the dispute and establish the âfourth Thursdayâ of November as our Thanksgiving Day.
Originally published at Kitten Kaboodle